I've now learned not to post about something until it happens. My life changes so often that what I think will happen never really does. I don't want to complain, so I'm not going to. I can't decide if I'd rather try to get the help of my friends or not have to deal with people trying to tell me what to do. I am the type of person who likes to deal with things on my own terms. It's just not possible to pass along all my thoughts and emotions, so sometimes I just don't see the point in trying. From the moment 2012 started, it's been a true roller coaster and no one can really understand the ride from my point of view. On the other hand, I would be no where without my friends. I need as much support as I can get to conquer this year. Friday I didn't go play laser tag, but I had a decent time without the trouble. My first time horseback riding since I was 16 was great too, even though I am sore today, I need to find a way to do it more. If I don't go white water rafting on my birthday, it will be a great alternative.
In the past couple days, I've also spent a lot of time watching Netflix on demand. I don't typically watch TV at school unless my roommate puts something on. There are a few shows I follow on Hulu, but that allows me to not base my schedule off television programs. Meetings and classes already do that well enough. Netflix appeals to me in the same way Hulu does. I can watch what I want, when I want, and generally in whatever quantity I want. This does get me in a bit of trouble as a sucker for marathons. I moved on from Storage Wars to American Pickers and made it through 20 episodes. At this point, I fancy myself an amateur appraiser. I've been going around my house wondering how much our antiques are worth and trying to make a guess. Out on the road, I'm guessing which houses might have good collectables. It's really crazy, but it keeps me entertained and distracted from the other crazinesses.
We found out yesterday that my dad will need six months of chemotherapy and radiation five days a week. I can't believe how aggressive the treatment is. We are hoping that he won't start the treatment until May, when I can be home to go with him or help out where need be. I am just so confused as to why he needs so much therapy when the doctor said that it looked so good. This doesn't seem like first stage treatment to me. I don't have much experience with cancer though, so it's hard to tell. Right now I am just doing what needs to be done and hoping everything will work out. The catch is that nothing can ever be that easy...
Last night, my mom came home, told me she was having a gull bladder attack, asked me to get the rest of the groceries out of the trunk, and went to bed at 7:30. Today, I woke up and found out that she needed to go to the doctor. When she left with Derek, they were headed to the walk-in clinic, but now they're at the hospital. My mom has been emitted with stones in her gull bladder. How do I wind up with two parents in the hospital? I made a joke to my mom about all of them falling apart and now it's pretty true. I don't know what to do. Trying to make a choice that isn't selfish and will help my family without being a wasted effort is difficult.
Initially, I wanted to stay home to help out. I am supposed to leave for school today and have a lot to do up there, but I'm hesitant to leave. Little brother says he can handle it though, so I guess I'm going to go back. I'm nervous about it, but I am hoping things will go along alright without me. I won't be back here until the Wednesday before Easter for a night before my sibling trip to Atlanta. Really, I've never wanted to be home more. I'll be calling and texting nonstop to check in. It's just so much at once, that's all, but we have good people in our lives to help us through.
Ay Caramba!
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